Parents and kids explain what it means to be lgbtq or have a lgbtq child in Baltimore

By Kameran Rogers | August 19, 2022

Coming out of the closet is scary for LGBTQ+ kids because at the end of the day they have to depend on their parents to support them and if we don’t get that support it will put our living conditions in jeopardy. 

LGBTQ youth in the U.S. have a 120% higher risk of experiencing homelessness than youth who identified as heterosexual and cisgender according to a national survey of unaccompanied youth in a 2018 report by Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago. Black youth have an 83% higher chance of experiencing homlessness in the same report. This data and an understanding of how identities can intersect to create even more disproportionate outcomes show the fear of coming out of the closet comes from a very real place.  

Being gay in a predominantly Black city like Baltimore is significant because as a black person you face the toxic masculinity of black men. Black men who deem anything feminine as gay or simply not masculine. Religious family members also cause hardship when they shun you because of your sexual orientation. Many youth have been a victim of these things, so with a topic like this it's important to be knowledgeable in the ways in which people think on the topic.

I asked parents and grandparents (who are all poc) the same questions about their children being queer. 

What was your reaction to your (grand)child coming out? What is one way that you have attempted to support your child? And have you come to realize the homophobia in the Black community?

NOTE THAT ALL INTERVIEWED ARE FROM THE SAME FAMILY.

1. Parents & Grandparents

Kandace, 32: 

“I wouldn’t say my views of them haven't changed, it just startled me,” said Kandace about her reaction to her child coming out. 

“Me not denying their sexuality in any way,” said Kandace about her attempt to support her child as a queer youth.

When it comes to homophobia in the black community, Kandace said, “I’ve never thought of that or realized it at all.”

Tammy, 52:

“I had a open mind about my grandchild’s sexuality because a lot of other family members were telling me they thought they were gay,” said Tammy, 52 about her grandchild coming out.

“I have boy talk with them if you count that as supportive,” said Tammy.

“Some of our family members don’t support it but it doesn’t change how they love you,” said Tammy about homophobia in the Black community.

Davon, 35:     

“I knew the first day I met them,” said Davon about his child coming out.  “I told everybody."

“Let them be themselves,” said Davon on how he was supportive to his child expressing their sexuality. He also recognizes the homophobia in the black community.

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I also asked questions to youth in Baltimore. Myself as well as one girl, Glori answered a series of a questions pertaining to being queer in Baltimore.

Were you scared to come out? How did your parents react? And do you think there is homophobia in the Black community and why?

2. Youth

Glori, 14

“No, not really,” said Glori about being scared coming out. “Because I have a comfortable relationship with my mother.”

“My mother was in disbelief,” said Glori about her parents' reaction. And she thinks there is  homophobia in the Black community “because of [people’s] religious reasons.”.

Kameran, 14

“Yes I was nervous,” I said about being scared to come out. “Because we had never had a conversation on the topic.”

“I think she was in shock,” I said about my mom’s reaction.  “She said okay then I walked away.”

When discussing what I thought about homophobia in the Black community I felt of course, I think black men especially are homophobic.

After taking a look at how both parents and youth view the LGBTQ community in Baltimore. I will leave it up to you to make up your own interpretation on your views on the community.

It should be known that not all Black people in Baltimore have the same ideas on these topics. The views you see here are not a reflection on the entirety of the community and are not a definitive answer. 

At the end of the day everyone is obligated to their own opinion and views.There isn't one answer or way of being LGBTQ and Black. Everyone is different and has their own experience.