Does Social Media Really Affect Your Relationship?

BY Saniya Wilson-Powell | May 4, 2022

Relationships are everywhere. We see them in the mall, at starbucks, and walking downtown. Social media is a really big thing when talking about relationships now, but we never look at the repercussions or the consequences of people publicly displaying their relationships.

Today we’re not just gonna touch on big couples like Alex and Kouver, Charlie and Lil Huddy, and Jay-z and Beyonce. We’re getting insight from couples we see on the street everyday. Learn how social media impacts their relationships both good and bad.

Though there are benefits to social media like communicating with friends, meeting new people, finding new hobbies, learning different points of view, or even looking at funny doge memes. There’s a very dark and negative side to social media especially in teen relationships.

A 2019 Canadian study of seventh-grade students, found that for every hour spent on social media, depressive symptoms like feeling lonely, sad, and hopeless all significantly increased. This means social media, especially in teens, impacts our self-esteem. When teens post or view other people's relationships, it can make us feel self-doubt and jealousy for what others have in their relationships. We as teens think that everyone else’s relationship is or could be better than ours, when in reality these people on social media can be struggling as much as we are. They could be faking it or pretending to be perfect couples for.

Let's take a look at two different couples. One teenage couple and an adult couple, both individuals are on social media. 

These conversations have been edited for length and clarity.

Nadira (She/They) & Asher (They/Them) 

Two years together. Teenage couple.

Saniya Wilson-Powell: How does social affect your outlook on gay relationships?

Asher: In gay relationships, I thought it would be never showing affection in public or hiding being a couple because you would get dirty looks or would make people uncomfortable. And social media never portrayed gay couples showing affection, they only showed straight couples. So I didn’t think that was normal.

SWP: Do you post about your relationship often?

Asher: I would say I post my girlfriend often, she posts me too. But not as often because she’s not on social media that much.

Does social media have a positive or negative affect on your relationship?

Asher: Well, most of the time it’s negative to be honest because people glamourize toxic relationships or the perfect kind of relationship. Which makes me feel like we have to be one or the other.

Do you think it’s different for gay couples now to post on social media than it was in 2014?

Asher: Yeah, in good ways and bad ways. Because now you can be more out with your sexuality, but then there are different perceptions and hidden messages when being in a gay relationship. Plus you still get comments and videos that are hurtful, but it’s not like in 2014 or 2015 where people said, “Gross, I don’t like gay couples.”

Does social media treat you and your girlfriend wrong or make you second guess yourself?

Asher:  Yes, social media makes us feel like we have to do things in our relationship a certain way. But we had to learn that every relationship is different, just like ours.

How are you and your girlfriend doing right now?

Asher: We’re doing good. We feel like for the last 6 months we’ve been doing good. We think that learning about ourselves and each other makes our relationship stronger.

Nicole (she/her) & Charles (he/him)

13 years together. Adult couple

SWP: Do you post about your relationship often? 

Nicole: I don’t post often about our relationship because I feel that our relationship is between us (Husband & Wife). Everything isn’t for social media either. 

SWP: How does social affect your outlook on relationships as adults?

Nicole: No because a relationship is what you make it. 

SWP: Does social media have a positive or negative affect on your relationship?

Nicole: Social media doesn’t have any effect on our relationship because we established our relationship before social media. Also what you see on social media isn’t always true because people do things for just for social media. 

SWP: How are you and your husbands doing right now?

Nicole: We are doing well. We are coming up on 5 years married and 13 years together.

SWP: Does social media treat you and your husband wrong or make you second guess yourself? 

Nicole: No, we are secure in our relationship. 

SWP: Why don’t you post your relationship?

Nicole: Social media is just that. To be social, not to post about your relationship!! 

SWP: Do you think if you did post your relationship more often people would be in your face about it? 

Nicole: No. But if I go out to an event and my husband isn’t with me, people do ask about him.